grumpybear1031: (W13 - JAIME DEXTER SHOWER)
[personal profile] grumpybear1031
+ Title: Belief & Betrayal
+ Authors: [livejournal.com profile] grumpybear1031   and [livejournal.com profile] shaych_03  
+ Fandom: Warehouse 13
+ Pairing: H.G./Myka
+ Notes: Ladies lovin’ ladies ahead… and angst, and action, and well, just read it – we promise you a happy ending. Takes place where 2X12 Reset leaves off, possible spoilers for both seasons. Some liberties taken with certain events, as we don't have actual dates for H.G.'s bronzing etc...  We are finally finished and doing a second round of edits...whooo hooo.
+ Rating: We'll play it safe and say R throughout NC-17 Chapters will be clearly marked.
+ Disclaimer: Warehouse 13 and it's characters belongs to Syfy. We're just borrowing them for a while and promise to give them back.
Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] taterc   for help with a quick beta.

Author's Note: Shay, I hope you can forgive me for dragging you into this mess. My obsession with H.G. Wells blinded me, and a need to correct the total mess that was “Reset” kind of made me crazy. I'm not much of a writer so your help in getting this from inside my head to down on paper is very much appreciated. I'd also like to say a big thanks to[livejournal.com profile] darandkerry   for being an amazing beta. Your suggestions and punctuation help are invaluable.


Author's Note: Jen, you may have dragged me into watching Warehouse 13 kicking and screaming, but I've had more fun working on this story with you than I have in a long time. Your ideas are great; you have a natural ability to kick start my muse and keep her chugging along happily. Should I even bother to mention how good you are at calling me on BS characterizations or reinterpreting the sometimes cornball melodrama that my muse creates? Anyway, I'm glad you got me into this. I would also like to add my thanks to[livejournal.com profile] darandkerry  , for her spot on beta skills. I hope we didn't kill you with all the missing commas.

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS
CHAPTER 1  CHAPTER 2  CHAPTER 3 & 4  CHAPTER 5  CHAPTER 6  CHAPTER 7  CHAPTER 8  CHAPTER 9  CHAPTER 10  CHAPTER 11  CHAPTER 12  CHAPTER 13  CHAPTER 14  CHAPTER 15


CHAPTER 16

Myka first became aware of the soft murmuring sometime in the middle of the night. It took several minutes for her to understand that the sounds coming from the person next to her were filled with fear and anguish, but when she did realize it, she immediately reached for Helena.

At Myka's touch, Helena shouted, "No, don't make me do this! I love her!"

"Helena! Wake up! It's just a dream." As gently as she could, Myka shook the other woman, but Helena remained locked in her nightmare.

Thrashing about, Helena struggled against an invisible captor and screamed, "Myka, run!"

Startled, Myka actually jerked backward and reached for her service weapon before she realized that Helena was still deeply asleep.

"No, you can't make me do this! Stop! Oh God, I can't make it stop! Run, Myka, get away from me! It's too dangerous, go!" Each word rose in volume until Helena sat bolt upright, shouting at the top of her lungs, her breathing fast and heavy.

"Helena!" This time, when Myka grabbed hold of the other woman, she made sure to prepare for any surprising blows, but none were forthcoming. Instead, Helena sagged into her arms, whimpering softly.

"Oh God, Myka. I killed you. I cut you and cut you until you were nothing but ribbons of blood and flesh, and still the whispers would not stop. They wouldn't leave me alone, Myka. They wouldn't let me free you, no matter how much you begged and pleaded with me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Weeping brokenly, Helena clung to Myka and rocked in place. "You should go. You should leave me here. Just get away before I actually give in to them. They're still there, poisoning my thoughts. I can feel them eating away at my sanity." She tried to push Myka away, but Myka only held her tighter.

"No, I'm not going anywhere. Nothing is going to take me away from you again, Helena. Not even you can make me leave." Drawing them down so that Helena's head was pillowed on her shoulder, Myka held her close and said, "You won't hurt me, Helena. I know you won't, just like I know the earth is round, the sky is blue, and the sun will rise in the morning."

"How? How can you be so sure of me?" Helena whispered.

"Because even when you were under the complete thrall of the Pearl, you couldn't do it. You couldn't pull the trigger, Helena. That's how I know. You're still in charge, even when it feels like you're not. You just have to recognize that and believe in yourself."

"And if I cannot?"

"Then believe in me. Trust me to trust you. Can you do that?" Slowly, Myka eased them over so that Helena was lying on her back and with Myka propped on her elbow beside her.

Looking up and seeing only the absolute conviction in Myka's expression, Helena finally began to believe things were going to be all right. Slowly, she smiled, took a deep breath and said, "I can try."

Returning the smile, Myka said, "Good. Now, just close your eyes and rest. I'll watch over you."

**

The grey light of false dawn was accompanied by a wet chill that ate through the cocoon of warmth that followed Helena out of the van. She'd awoken to find Myka snuggled against her, snoring softly, one arm wrapped protectively around her, the other shoved up toward the front seat as if reaching for the radio.

Picking her way across the road to the porta-potty, Helena tried to understand the good fortune that had found her here, in this strange, modern world so far beyond her own time. It was like a second life; a chance to try again. She'd never regain what she'd lost, but if fate were kind, perhaps now, she'd have the time to find something equally as precious. At the door to the outhouse, she paused and tried to imagine what it might be like, to wake up every morning as she had the last few. Fear and desire, need and guilt - these emotions wove within her thoughts, taking and giving hope, pushing her to run and yet pulling her to stay and be courageous.

How is it that I can risk everything to save my daughter, but letting myself love Myka the way she deserves frightens me so much that I'd rather face a hundred armed men than admit to her how much she truly means to me?

**

When Myka awoke, she smiled, stretched out her hand and murmured, "Helena?" When her palm met the cool surface of the sleeping bag, she opened her eyes in surprise.

Helena was gone. Sitting up, Myka was assaulted by a wave of dread. Had she been deceived again? Was the pearl only a ploy? Anger made her stomach clench with nausea.

"No, you will not do this to yourself. You will not let those thoughts screw you up," Myka whispered softly. "She'll be back. You know she will." Taking a deep breath, Myka let the torrent of worried thoughts go, knowing that if she didn't, anything she and Helena might share was doomed from the start.

I will not be like Artie - always jumping to conclusions, wrong or not. I choose to trust her. I choose to realize that she's probably just using the bathroom, like any normal person does in the morning. The silent pep-talk was comforting in its familiarity and slowly, the anxiety faded, leaving Myka to bask in a glow of anticipation. It was far too early to think about breakfast, and Chicago was only a few hours drive away, so really, they had all the time in the world. And I intend to make every second count.

Myka's faith was soon rewarded by the sight of Helena stiffly making her way back toward the van. Before Helena could reach the vehicle, Myka leaned over and opened the door. "Hey sleepyhead, you look like you're about ready to freeze your butt off. Get in here!"

The sight of Myka, her face alit with joy, her hair mussed from sleep, and a sexy-sweet smile shaping her generous mouth was all the invitation Helena needed.

As soon as Helena had closed the door behind her, Myka snuggled in close. Cautiously, she wrapped herself around the shivering woman, careful to avoid putting too much pressure on tender areas.

"Mm, cozy now?" she whispered, nuzzling the back of Helena's neck.

Helena shivered, only this time, not from the cold. It would be so easy to give in to the surge of desire that was coursing through her body, but guilt and self-loathing held her back, forcing her to mumble, "Yes, thank you." She didn't deserve this. None of it; not Myka's obvious affection and care, not her trust, not this chance at life - who was she to cheat fate, anyway?

Myka continued to nuzzle Helena's neck, breathing in the sweet, subtle remains of her perfume. She was entranced; the sensation of being so close to Helena, of feeling the other woman's tiny shivers each time her fingers grazed her belly, of hearing the soft, ragged breaths that Helena tried to control made Myka want nothing more than to break that control. In a moment of crystalline clarity, Myka knew that what she wanted was to lay Helena bare, to strip her of everything and then, to envelope her in the need that was lurking just under the surface of her thoughts.

Spurred by desire, Myka's nuzzles turned to nips. Helena gasped and arched her back, turning to glance at Myka.

"What are you doing?" she whispered, even as she was caught by the unvarnished hunger in Myka's eyes.

"Something that I can't wait one more second to do," Myka growled in reply. Was this their third? Fourth? Myka had lost count of how many times she'd kissed Helena, but this kiss - this kiss was the one for which she'd been waiting.

There was little Helena could do but be overwhelmed by the rush of Myka's passion. Pain flared and was quickly consumed in the fire of need; bruises, abrasions, even the deep ache in her shoulder and ribs were all but banished when Myka cupped her breast. Trying to swallow the groan of desire that burned in her throat, Helena whispered, "How can you want me now? After all that's happened, how can you still want this from me?"

Between kisses, Myka murmured, "You're kidding, right?"

When Helena didn't respond, Myka sighed and let her forehead rest against the other woman's. "You are the most infuriating, dangerous, crazy-making person I've ever met!" Pulling back, she looked at Helena and said, "You're also the most beautiful, entrancing, passionate, kind, and sexy person I've ever wanted in my life. You, Helena, you make me crazy with desire. At first, I thought I was just going insane - I mean, how could I feel this way, about you, the great, H.G. Wells? But then, then you crossed all those barriers of doubt, and you kissed me.  You made me realize that crazy desires could be worth having."

"But I'm no good for you, Myka! I'm old; if not in flesh, then in my heart, I've grown sick with age, with all the terrible weight of the years that have pulled me into this time. I profess my innocence, but in reality, had the world ended, I don't know that I truly would have missed anything in it, except for you." Helena closed her eyes, unable to face the rejection she knew was coming.

Slowly, Myka allowed her hand to glide across Helena's breast and then come to rest over her heart. She could feel it beating heavily, each rhythmic thud acting as a goad for the words that welled up and spilled forth.

"This heart, Helena? Is this your evil, dark heart? Or is it only the heart of woman filled with fear and doubt?"

With slow deliberation, Helena lifted her injured arm and covered Myka's hand. Trembling, she whispered, "I've never been more utterly terrified than I am in this instant. You shatter me, Myka. For such an endless time, my life, my thoughts, my every second was grief; now, there is light, there is hope, there is -" She inhaled sharply and bit back a sob. The word just refused to be spoken. It sat there, glued to her tongue, taunting her with its simplicity. Yet no matter how hard she tried, she could not give voice to the feeling that had eaten away at the locks and chains around her heart. Instead, she withdrew, surrendering once again to her fear.

Angered by Helena's inability to commit, Myka pulled Helena around to face her, still mindful not to jar the other woman. "No, you don't get to run away again. You don't get to hide behind your guilt. And you especially don't get to make me fall in love with you and not expect me to fight for what I want." At Helena's dazed expression, Myka said, "You kissed me, Helena. I might have wanted it, but you crossed the line. Don't go backwards. Don't run away again." She leaned in, keeping their mouths just a breath apart. "Come to me, Helena. I'm here. I'm waiting."

Never in her life had Helena moved so quickly. The distance might have been miniscule, but it felt like a thousand years before she was finally kissing Myka. Ignoring the rush of pain from her injuries, she pulled on Myka until the other woman rolled on top of her, and In-between kisses, she finally whispered the three words that she'd been so fiercely gaurding. Like a litany of prayers, they filled the air around them until Myka's answering phrase blended with hers.

"I love you," became the music of their hearts even as they began the dance that would bind their bodies.

The kissing was, in a word, wonderful. From the tip of her nose to the bottoms of her toes, Myka felt like she was standing in a stream of pure electricity, and it was the most intense, erotic, and mind altering sensation she'd ever felt.

Helena kept doing this thing with her tongue that made Myka's stomach drop, and in return, Myka gave her hands free rein to explore the body under hers. She'd expected it to be a little like touching herself, but in reality, it was oh, so much better.

Still, when it came to the point where there were just too many clothes between them, Myka felt like a fumbling teenager as she awkwardly shoved her fingers under the edge of Helena's t-shirt.

Helena hissed as Myka's nails scraped a tender spot. "Slow down, love. I'm not running anymore."

Myka's smile was both shy and chagrined as she started to withdraw. "Sorry, sorry. Gosh, I must be crushing you. I should -"

"No!" Helena caught Myka and held her. "I like you just where you are. Stay," she coaxed, pressing teasing kisses all over Myka's lips, face, neck, and chin.

Myka moaned softly. "I need to touch you, Helena. I just - I don't want to hurt you."

A hint of Helena's usual brash nature surfaced in the sly, sexy smile that she gave Myka. "Then you'll have to be gentle. Take me slow and easy. Don't worry - I won't break."

Nervously, Myka nodded. "Okay. Slow, and easy - I can do that. So, first, let's get you out of this shirt." Carefully, she sat up, straddling Helena's hips as she settled in place. Of course, what should have been a simple task became monumentally complicated the moment she looked down and caught the look of raw need on Helena's face.

When Myka seemed unwilling to put actions to her words, Helena decided to lend a helping hand and reached down, grasped the edges of her shirt and started to pull. It was painful; almost too much so, but she ignored it in favor of the look of stunned arousal that washed over Myka's face.

"Here, let me -" Myka's voice was hoarse and she cleared her throat softly. "Let me do that." She took over, slowly pushing the shirt up and revealing more and more of Helena's creamy, pale flesh. When Helena's abdomen was fully exposed, Myka paused to reach out and run her fingers over the mottled black and purple bruise that the seat belt had left. Myka's touch was feather light, but not ticklish. Instead, she seemed to be attempting to map every bump, bruise, freckle and curve creating a mental geography of Helena's torso.

The more Myka touched her, the wetter Helena got, and when Myka finally pushed her fingers up under the rolled edge of the shirt to caress her smooth, silky breasts, Helena cried out, arching into the touch. God, she'd forgotten how incredible being made love to felt, and this - this slow torture was exactly what she needed to rediscover the pleasures of the body. There was pain with the pleasure, but somehow, that only made the experience more piquant; it gave it a realness that made the sensations sink bone deep.

"Feels so good," Helena whispered as Myka's touch grew bolder. "Yes, like that, just like that," she said encouragingly as Myka rolled her nipples around slowly. The touch was all too brief though, as Myka pulled her hands away, only to return again to finish removing Helena's shirt. Cool morning air ghosted over her body, raising gooseflesh and tightening her nipples. She gasped softly and tried to cover herself, but Myka stopped her.

"No. I want to look." Myka's demand was deeply carnal, causing Helena to flush with need.

Adopting a regal air, Helena let her arms fall splayed to her sides. "Then look. Drink your fill of this battered body, but when you are done looking - " her voice lowered an octave, "I want you to touch me. Everywhere."

If Myka had been a candle, she'd have melted under the heat in Helena's words, instead, she became a bonfire of need. Suddenly, she couldn't get enough of Helena. Touching her; feeling the smoothness of her face, her arms, her body, her breasts – each and every inch of skin was deftly and delicately explored, leaving no place untouched. "You're so beautiful," she whispered as she came to rest perched above her lover. "You feel like silk.

Helena kissed her. “You taste like heaven; and feel like home. Touch me again, remind me why being alive is wonderful."

So Myka touched her again; this time, paying careful attention to the places that made Helena flinch, or moan, or gasp. Where pain seemed to be the more prevalent response, Myka soothed the damaged flesh with soft caresses and then moved on to a new, less explored area of Helena's torso. However, simple touch soon became too little - she had to follow her fingers with her lips, opening up a whole new world of sensation that was both beautifully familiar and excitingly different.

The first time she stroked her tongue over Helena's right nipple, Myka thought she might have discovered nirvana. When Helena's hand came up to hold her head in place, even as she arched into the soft suction of Myka's lips, Myka could find nothing of which to compare the moment. It was everything; and yet, it still wasn't enough. She wanted, needed more.

Stripping away her own t-shirt, Myka pressed into Helena and it was almost enough; her heart was beating so hard she was sure it would break free of her chest. Helena's hands were hot where they held her, her blunt nails scratching and stroking the bare flesh of Myka's back.

They moved together; kissing, touching, moaning and whispering soft, needy words of desire and encouragement. It was as slow as Helena needed, but slower than she wanted. Every sense was afire with Myka, from the sharp scrape of Myka's teeth over her right shoulder to the cool slide of their cotton-clad legs as they moved and slid against each other.

At any other time, Helena might have taken charge; she might have rolled them over and pushed Myka's hands above her head so that she might feast upon the miles of curves and hollows that begged to be tasted, but in this moment - this first time where so much between them was a tentative road of need, joy, and pain, Helena remained content to let Myka set the pace.

However, she was not above tendering a little encouragement. Sliding her hands from Myka's shoulders, over her back and then, quickly, slipping them beneath the waistband of Myka's pants, she cupped the firm flesh she found there and roughly pulled Myka against her. Myka moaned and ground her hips into Helena.

"You, my darling, are wearing far too many clothes," Helena whispered as she nibbled on Myka's earlobe.

Gasping, Myka replied, "So are you."

By mutual, yet silent consent, they pulled apart. Cooled by the chill of the approaching dawn, Myka grew shy even as Helena eagerly shucked her remaining garments.

Now naked, Helena stretched out and waited, watching Myka through half-slitted eyes. Her pose was intentional; she arrayed herself like a queen, yet offered her body like a slave, her bearing containing the leonine assurance of a predator and the shy hope of a first time lover.

It was when Helena drew one elegant hand up and over Myka's thigh that Myka was finally spurred to act. With a deep breath, she shimmied out of her pants and then pressed herself up against Helena, grabbing Helena's wandering hand and placing it above her head.

"No," she said firmly. "Let me. Let me make love to you, Helena."

She followed up her words with actions. Gone was her shyness; now, her touches were all emboldened with a single-minded need to seek the hidden places of Helena's desires. She found them as a deep well, a place of silken wetness and roughly textured velvet. They were the pound of a million heartbeats, the connection of mouths, the broken gasps of breaths and the slow, slow flex of muscle, tendon and bone.

Sometimes, they were words - cried out, whispered, shouted, gasped in language that was both sacred and profane. In the end, Helena's desires were Myka's; their passion and joy fused as one as they joined together and soared, burning away everything but the pure bliss of the moment.

When the line between the far off places of climax and reality finally became clear, Myka and Helena lay entwined, breathing heavily and trading slow, languid kisses.

Myka sighed happily and flopped onto her back. "So, tell me why we didn't do this sooner?"

Helena grinned and rolled so she could rest her head on Myka's shoulder. Lazily, she drew her index finger up Myka's sternum, stopping only to lightly explore the peaks and valleys of Myka's breasts.

"I don't know - perhaps I should have taken the opportunity to steal a kiss when I saved your life. I rather suspect you'd have enjoyed it."

As she spoke, Helena's touches grew more intense, making coherent thought difficult for Myka.

In-between ragged breaths, Myka said, "I think afterward, I imagined you kissing me."

"And was it like this?" Helena leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss to Myka's cheek. "Or was it more like this?" Slowly, she dragged her hand up Myka's chest to wind in the hair at the base of Myka's neck and then drew her down for a long, heart-stopping kiss.

"The second one, definitely the second one," said Myka breathlessly when Helena finally let her go. Sitting, she reached into the front seat to retrieve a bottle of water. The cool liquid felt wonderful going down and, when she'd drank her fill, she handed it to Helena. Slowly, she settled back on the mattress, content for the moment.

Around the mouth of the bottle, Helena smiled mischievously as she drank. She was fairly certain Myka was about to come up with some reason why they should get up and start their day, but she wasn't about to let this moment pass without taking the opportunity to enjoy all of her new lover's considerable charms.

It was the logistics of the situation that were putting a bit of a brake on things. It was all well and good for Myka to enjoy some very, very pleasant acrobatics, but right now, Helena wanted Myka to be all hers. For too long, she'd been denied the pleasure of touch and now that she had been given the chance to experience the miracle of Myka's love, she was not about to ignore the opportunity to revel in it.

When Myka rolled onto her side to stretch, Helena found herself presented with the perfect opportunity. Sliding in behind her, she pressed herself against Myka's back and cupped her hand over the soft swell of Myka's belly. "Well, well, it appears that I've got you exactly where I want you," she whispered into Myka's ear while at the same time skimming her fingers down to scrape against the edge of Myka's short, dark curls.

Myka's breath exploded in a softly moaned, "Helena?"

"It's my turn, love," Helena said as she continued her touch.

Pushing into the caress, Myka reached behind her to grab on to Helena's thigh. "Oh, I see. Are we keeping score?" she asked breathlessly. She began to move into Helena's slow, maddening touch. "God, Helena, you're trying to kill me."

"If I am, you'll certainly die with a smile on your lips," Helena said teasingly as she drew out her lover's pleasure with slow, gradual strokes.

"You really are evil," Myka said even as she continued to thrust against Helena. "Oh, god, you are so, so evil." Then, Helena's touch shifted, becoming firmer, more demanding and Myka keened, "Good, oh, that's very good." Eagerly, she twisted her head back and to the side, moaning into Helena's mouth when their lips met in a hungry, open kiss.

Helena's bad shoulder fired off a flare of pain and she grunted softly. To minimize discomfort, she shifted her hips and pushed, encouraging Myka to roll onto her stomach. It was a risky move, but Myka seemed to know exactly what Helena needed and trusted her enough to acquiesce to Helena's silent demand.

"Oh darling, you are a peach," Helena murmured as she painted wet, warm kisses across Myka's shoulder blades. "A sweet, delicious, juicy peach, and I am going to enjoy every single bite," she said as she moved up to nip the tender skin where Myka's neck and shoulder met.

Dropping her head down to give Helena as much access as she wanted, Myka found that all she could do was to ride the wave of this intense, brutally erotic moment. Helena's hands were everywhere, caressing, scratching, squeezing, teasing and then, finally, thrusting deep into her, touching a rising core of need and setting it off like the Fourth of July.

**

The post-coital haze was a time Helena treasured. Generally, she preferred to spend it lounging around in bed, hand-feeding her lover delicate tidbits. It was a little odd, therefore, to find herself cradled in Myka's arms while she struggled to control a spate of uncontrollable sobs. Myka's touch was comforting, her voice soft and low as she murmured soothingly, but for some reason, Helena just couldn't stop crying and it was really beginning to irritate her.

"I'm sorry," she said, finally gaining control of her emotions. Propping herself up on one arm, she smiled weakly and said, "I don't really know what came over me. I can assure you that I'm not usually the type to burst into tears at the smallest provocation. You have no idea of how overwhelming it is to me to finally be able to touch you, to feel the heat radiating off your skin, to taste your breath as you kiss me, to hear your heartbeat as it pounds against your chest, and to smell the sweetness of your scent. For so long, I've been denied love - by my own will, it's true, but now, Myka, you, you make me want it all." She smiled shyly and said, "I believe in tomorrow because you let me love you today."

“Oh, Helena,” Myka whispered. Tears pooled and fell unabated as she dipped her head down and pressed soft kisses to the top of Helena's head. “I love you. Your eloquence floors me; of course, you're a writer, so I shouldn't be surprised, but somehow, I always am. If I make you believe in tomorrow, you're the one who makes me want today. I've never been an impulsive person. I'm the planner, the coordinator – did you know that I used to take real pride in having all my socks and underwear color coded? Yeah, that's me. I'm a nerd; the geeky girl who sits in the corner, does her work, and only dreams of romance. Then you came along and, suddenly, all I can do is live in the moment. Every second I had with you was like the purest gold – so precious that I would lie awake at night and revisit them over and over, just so I could capture even a fraction of the emotions you stirred in me.”

Sitting up, Helena chuckled and said, “We are quite the pair, you and I.” She wiped her face and then did the same to Myka's. “Two sappy birds singing maudlin songs to greet the morning sun.”

Myka sighed and folded her arms behind her head. "It's been a rough couple of days, Helena. We both need a break. Besides, if you can't cry over mind-blowing sex, what else is there to cry about?" She smiled teasingly. "Good God, that was fantastic. I mean, you really just - I just -" Myka's words faded off as Helena leaned over and kissed her slowly.

Helena was rapidly losing herself in the absolutely marvelous feeling of kissing Myka senseless, so when Myka began to push her away, she whimpered in protestation.

"I know, I know - I'd love nothing more than to stay here and make love with you all day, Helena, but we have to get out of this place before Pete and Artie find us." Gently, she brushed Helena's hair back, kissed her softly and added, "But I promise you, just as soon as we have some free time, you and I are going to continue this conversation - at considerable length!"

TBC

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